


The Color of Envy

by amcsummersgoddess



Category: Halex - Fandom
Genre: Beast Hank, Halex, Jealousy, M/M, Slow Burn, alex is emotional
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2018-03-19
Updated: 2018-03-19
Packaged: 2019-04-04 11:12:12
Rating: Mature
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 1
Words: 3,502
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/14019024
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/amcsummersgoddess/pseuds/amcsummersgoddess
Summary: Maybe the reason why Alex called Hank names this whole time was because Alex is jealous of Hank. Jealous of the fact that Hank never really has to hide his mutation like Alex does, or have to worry about hurting anyone.





	The Color of Envy

**Author's Note:**

> Requested by anonymous on tumblr!! 
> 
> Hope you enjoy!

Jealousy is a foreign feeling when Alex thinks about it; he has never _really_ been jealous before, that is until he meets Hank McCoy. 

Hank McCoy, the mutant Alex met at the CIA base with the feet that look like hands, is a boy genius. He graduated from college when he was only fifteen years old and then got a job working for the CIA shortly after. When Alex was fifteen, he was in solitary confinement.

Alex had absolutely no shame when it came to teasing Hank. He’d call him Bigfoot and Bozo, not really caring about how Hank felt because, here’s the thing: 

Hank is ashamed of his feet, which really pisses Alex off the most about the mutant. His feet look like hands and make him run at ridiculously fast speeds. Sure they’re not the most pleasing to look at, but they can’t _hurt_ anyone. That’s what Alex is so jealous of. He’s jealous of the fact that _he_ can hurt people. Hank doesn’t know what it’s like to be so afraid of yourself. He doesn’t know what it’s like to push the people you love and care about away in fear of hurting them. Hank will never understand what Alex has to go through, ever. 

Training is the worst part since Charles is making Alex train with Hank. Charles told him something about how it will make them get along better, but Alex _doesn’t_ want to get along with Hank, he despises him. He despises the fact that Hank always hides his feet, all the time. He wears a tremendously large shoe size, keeping his feet covered and unseen from the public eye. Boy does Alex wish he could conceal his mutation from the rest of the world as easily as Hank does, but the reality sets in that he never will be able too. 

Alex doesn’t like the fact that Hank’s the one who has to create a plate for him to go on his chest so he’s able to generate his energy in one place. He doesn’t like that he’s shirtless and Hank is touching him, skin on skin. 

“Is this necessary?” Alex asks impatiently as he feels the cool tape measure wrap around his waist. 

“Yes, it’s very necessary. I need to know the exact measurements of your upper torso so that the plate will be in the right spot in order to generate the correct amount of energy into one place,” Hank rambles in reply. “Now it will take me a couple of days to construct your plate, but for now I’d like to see if you can try and center your energy into one place.” Alex rolls his eyes at that. Of course Hank wants him to _try_ , like he’s some child who needs his hand to be held when he’s crossing the street. Alex would like to see Hank try and not be ashamed of his feet, but he holds his tongue from saying that as he follows Hank to the bunker. 

Hank stood by the door as Alex took his usual position, standing on the opposite side of the bunker from the mannequin he’s supposed to fire at. 

“Just try to focus,” Hank says in a supporting tone as he observes Alex from a safe distance. 

“Yeah whatever,” he mutters under his breath before letting out a deep breath. He could do this, all he had to do was focus. 

Alex starts to swing his body, generating the rings of plasma to circle around his body. All he needs to do is just hit the mannequin and only the mannequin. When the hoops fire, Alex hits everything _but_ the mannequin. 

He didn’t do it. He _couldn’t_ do it. 

Alex feels the disappointment and self-hate starting to rise inside of him. 

“There’s always next time,” Hank says observantly and Alex wishes one of his blasts hit him. 

He storms out of the bunker, ignoring Hank’s protest. Hank doesn’t understand that Alex will never have full control over his mutation. He will be stuck feeling as though he’s a danger to everyone for the rest of his life.

Alex slams the door to his bedroom, when he arrives upstairs, and kicks the side of his bed as hot tears of frustration stream down his face. He kicks his bed once for his mutation for being so deadly, he kicks it again for not having full control over it, and he kicks it for the third and final time very hard for Hank. Hank, who doesn’t realize how inconsiderate he’s actually being for concealing and being ashamed about his harmless feet. 

Alex doesn’t care that his foot is begging him to stop hitting it against the wooden post of his bed. He’s angry and jealous and frankly he’s just so pissed off he doesn’t want to do anything else besides hit stuff. 

He sinks down to his knees and hugs them to his chest, silent weeping to himself. Alex will never be in full control of his powers, he’ll always be a havoc to society. 

-  
The next time Alex has to see Hank again, is three days later from their last encounter and Alex is dreading every moment of it. His plate’s ready, Alex thinks it’s completely pointless since he already knows it won’t work, but he knows he should at least try. 

He lets Hank put it on him, since Alex didn’t really know how to put it on, and watches as him and Charles stand a foot away from the mannequin on both sides of it. Alex thinks they’re crazy. 

“I believe in you, Alex,” Charles tells him reassuringly, followed by a nod of approval.

Alex takes a deep breath, clenches his sweaty palms into fists and powers his mutation. The beams didn’t throw him back like it did the first time he showed Charles his mutation, nor did it ricochet like it did the last time. 

Instead, the beams went straight into the mannequin, lighting it on fire. Alex feels himself starting to smile and then he _laughs_. He’s filled with joy and accomplishment because _he did it_. He finally did it. Alex finally has control. 

“Am I still a Bozo?” Hank calls from the other side, his blue eyes sparkling with astonishment. He’s smiling too because he’s the one that helped Alex sort of get to this point.

“Yes Hank, you’re still a Bozo,” Alex has to give him credit though, “but nice job.”

-  
Nervousness rises into Alex’s stomach as he makes his way downstairs to the lab. Today’s the day where they head to Cuba. Alex has no problem blasting the bad guys, he’s just afraid he could get himself _killed._.

Everyone is down in the lab, except Hank, who is nowhere to be found, and they all found their flight suits made and ready to wear. Once they were all suited up, Charles starts to give a pep talk just as the doors open and Hank walks in. 

Hank is about a few inches taller, bigger, furry, and blue. He makes his way over and stands next to Erik, who tells him he looks good. “Don’t pity me!” Hank growls and has his hand wrapped around his neck. He lets him go after Charles tells him to and Alex starts to smile. 

“I think I got a new name for you: Beast,” he catches Hank’s eye and smiles even brighter at him. Hank can’t hide anymore. 

-  
Cuba didn’t go as anyone expected. Charles got shot, Erik left with Raven, leaving Sean, Hank, and Alex on their own to help Charles. 

When they arrived back at the mansion, everything just felt different. It felt empty there, everything was so full of life in one day and it was just gone the next. 

Charles stays in his study all day, ignoring all interactions with anybody. Hank’s the only one that goes to check on him, making sure he’s accommodating well to his wheelchair. Sean stays up on his room all day, probably playing video games to distract his mind from all the events. As for Hank, he’s in his lab everyday, most likely finding a cure. 

Alex _tries_ to act like everything is normal, but it just isn’t, not anymore. He wants things to be the way they were before. They lost a couple people, but that doesn’t mean they should let that stop them from being able to enjoy themselves. 

The first thing Alex does is he goes to the kitchen and searches for a cookbook. He knows Sean will come out of his room for food and Charles will too and for the company that follows. He makes spaghetti and meatballs, since it’s easy and simple, and to his luck, Sean comes downstairs. 

“I smell food,” his green eyes light up as he sees the large pot Alex is standing over. “Is that for us?”

“Yeah. Do you mind watching it? I’ll be right back,” Alex lets Sean take over the cooking while he goes upstairs to Charles’ study. He raises his hand and knocks softly on the door, hearing a muffled come in on the other side. “Hey,” Alex greets, giving Charles a small smile. 

“What can I help you with, Alex?” Charles asks in his usual parental tone, sadness laced into it. Alex can see the toll of Erik and Raven leaving has on him. He’s never seen him look so sad. 

“Uh, I’ve sort of lit the kitchen on fire,” he lies and Charles lets out a sigh and leaves his study, heading to the kitchen. 

The next thing Alex does is he goes to the lab to see Hank. He doesn’t bother knocking on the door, but when he tries to open it, he sees it’s locked. Alex knocks a couple times on the door before he receives an answer. 

“Who is it?” Hank grumbles on the other side. 

“It’s me,” Alex replies and waits a couple of minutes before he hears the lock snap and the door opens a little to reveal Hank’s amber eyes. “Can I come in?” Hank gives a small nod and opens the door wider, letting Alex step inside. 

He looks around the lab to see there’s notebooks and equipment everywhere, Hank is definitely trying to find a cure. “Do you need something, Alex?” Hank’s voice is hoarse and tired, like he hasn’t slept in days. 

“I just wanted to tell you that dinner’s ready. Everyone’s down there if you want to join us.” Alex sees a look of fear crossover Hank’s face and he can’t help but feel guilty. “I’ll bring you up a plate if you want instead,” he receives a nod. 

Alex leaves the lab then, going to the kitchen to see Sean acting like his old self, loud and goofy, and Charles is smiling. Alex smiles to himself as he goes to fix himself a plate as well as Hank. He decides to eat downstairs in the lab with Hank since he feels it’s only right that he does. He’s thankful Hank didn’t lock the doors again as he easily enters, setting a plate of spaghetti down in front of Hank, and sits across from him, starting to eat his own. 

“You’re not going to eat with the others?” Hank asks curiously as he observes Alex eating. 

“Well, you aren’t either,” he counters with a small smile. “Besides, I think Sean and Charles are enjoying each other’s company fairly well,” he receives a nod from Hank in reply before he starts to eat too.

It’s quiet for a few minutes, the only sounds being made are them quietly chewing as well as Hank writing and erasing in his notebook. Alex knows what he has to do, it’s overdue but he must do it. 

“Hank?” Alex waits till Hank looks up at him and meets his eyes. “I’m sorry. I’m sorry for the names I called you and all the times I’ve picked on you and,” he runs a hand through his hair, suddenly feeling nervous. “I was jealous of you, Hank. Jealous of the fact that you’ll never be able to hurt anyone or do any damage but you’re Beast now and you know what it’s like and I’m sorry.”

Hank’s quiet for a couple minutes, digesting everything Alex said. “I’m sorry too,” he replies sincerely. “I didn’t intentionally mean to hurt you by being ashamed of myself. I didn’t realize how it made you feel and I’m sorry.” Alex gives Hank a small smile and Hank matches it. “Are you going to finish that?” Alex glances down at his leftover spaghetti before sliding the plate to Hank. “Thanks.”

“Don’t mention it,” he smiles even wider now. He’s glad he made amends with Hank, they have a mutual understanding of each other. 

-  
Alex decides that food is the way to bring everyone together so he makes a large breakfast for everyone the next morning. He places the bacon by the vent, making sure the smell circulates through. 

Sean comes downstairs immediately, followed by Charles. He lets them start without him as Alex heads downstairs to the lab, bursting through the doors. “Hank, the kitchen’s on fire!” Hank takes his eyes away from his notebook to look up at Alex. “Come on!”

Alex doesn’t wait for Hank to follow, he goes back down to the kitchen and fixes himself a plate, sitting down at the table. 

Hank comes down shortly after, looking around to see there’s no fire at all. “You lied to me?” 

Alex shrugs in reply. “I made bacon.” Hank shakes his head and lets a smile fall to his lips, grabbing a plate and filling it with pancakes and bacon before taking a seat next to Alex. 

“I hate you,” Hank teases as he takes a bite out of his bacon. 

Alex smirks. “Ditto.”

-  
Alex finds himself in the lab more often as the weeks went by. He really enjoys Hank’s company, wishing he got over himself sooner to discover this. They have more in common than Alex thought: They both like horror movies, running, and reading which Hank is surprised by. 

“You read?” Hank questions with a weird look, making Alex roll his eyes.

“Yes Hank, I read. You’re not the only one who can, you know,” he replies with a smile. “We should run together sometime though. I may even beat you.”

Hank snorts at that as he peers into the microscope in front of him. “The likelihood of that happening is slim to none,” he says rather bluntly. “Given my physical state, I can outrun a gazelle if I really wanted to.”

“I like how you know how fast a gazelle can run.”

“Sixty miles per hour.”

“Nerd,” Alex teases, receiving a grumble from Hank, making him laugh. “Did you learn that in Harvard?” 

Hank looks up from the microscope to meet Alex’s eyes and shakes his head. “I did my research as a little kid when I noticed my feet made me run fast. I can’t unrun a cheetah though,” he jokes and Alex shakes his head at him. “What?”

“You need to work on your jokes, Hank,” Alex hops off the stool he’s sitting on and stretches. “I’m going to grab some lunch, you want some too?” Hank eagerly nods and Alex smiles. “Be back.”

On his way to the kitchen, Alex runs into Sean, who’s beaming at him. “Hey Alex,” Sean starts to walk with him to the kitchen. “How’s the boyfriend?”

Alex knits his eyebrows together and looks at Sean with confusion. “What?”

Sean rolls his eyes. “You know, Hank. How is he?”

“He’s good I guess,” he mumbles in reply as he starts to walk faster towards the kitchen. 

“Good catching up with ya!” Sean calls behind him but Alex ignores it. The only thing he can think about now is Hank and how he feels about him. He’s been going down to the lab often because he enjoys talking to Hank, and seeing him, and listening to him even if Alex has no idea what he’s talking about. He’s a nice, caring person, funny without trying sometimes, really sweet, interesting, has great eyes before and after his transformation, and now that Alex thinks about it, he _always _found Hank attractive.__

__“Oh my god,” he gasps as he makes his discovery. Alex likes Hank. He likes Bozo, Bigfoot, _Beast_. Now Alex has to figure out what the fuck he’s going to do about it. He could tell Hank, but what good would that do? The likelihood, as Hank would say, of Hank liking him back is slim to none. Yes Alex is good looking, charming, and nice when he wants to be, but that necessarily mean Hank has the same feelings Alex has for him. Alex will just ignore his feelings for now. Him and Hank are in a good place, he doesn’t want to ruin that by making it awkward. _ _

__-  
“You’re being weird,” Hank notes a couple days later. Alex simply shrugs, trying to focus on the book on evolution Hank gave him to read. Alex is pretty sure he can feel Hank’s eyes on him. _ _

__“How so?” Alex rereads the same sentence he’s been reading for the past five minutes._ _

__“You haven’t turned a single page in that book. Either you’re reading it very slowly or something’s on your mind,” Hank notes and Alex doesn’t reply. “Do you want to talk about it?”_ _

__“Have you ever been in love?” Alex blurts and feels his cheeks heat up. “I mean, this book talks about evolution and reproduction and shit,” he lets out a small laugh, trying to hide his nervousness._ _

__Hank looks at Alex a little suspiciously. “Funny, I’ve read that book three times and I don’t remember reading anything about reproduction.” Alex feels his face heat up more so he hides his face in the book. “Alex, are you sure you’re alright?”_ _

__Alex takes a deep breath before giving a small nod. “I’m just tired,” he closes the book and sets it on the table. “I’ll see you in the morning. Goodnight Hank,” he slides off his stool and starts to walk out._ _

__“Night Alex,” he hears Hank call behind him, still feeling those amber eyes looking at him._ _

__Alex didn’t go to see Hank in the morning, he decides to jog instead to clear his head. When that doesn’t work, Alex just stays up in his room all day, staring blankly at the ceiling as his mind races. He didn’t mean to avoid Hank that day, or the next couple days that follow, but it just happened._ _

__The next time he sees Hank is the following Saturday morning. Alex is out jogging, in attempts to clear his head, and Hank jogs up next to him. Before Alex knows it, Hank has him pressed up against the side of the mansion, his body trapped under his weight._ _

__“You’ve been avoiding me,” Hank’s eyes loom over Alex, making him blush._ _

__“I’m sorry,” Alex mumbles in reply, looking past Hank, avoiding his eyes._ _

__Alex feels Hank take a step back, finally meeting his eyes again to see he’s looking at him softly. “Are you sure everything is okay?” Hank comfortingly rubs his arms, making Alex relax a little under his touch. Alex takes a deep breath, tilts his head up, and presses his lips up against Hank’s._ _

__“I-I’m sorry,” Alex stumbles as he tries to escape, but he feels Hank wrap his arms around his waist and pulls him back._ _

__“Don’t be,” he smiles as he presses their lips back together in a soft kiss. Alex smiles against the kiss and wraps his arms around Hank’s neck, feeling Hank press him back up against the wall._ _

__Soon the kisses turn heated and Hank’s biting and sucking on Alex’s neck. “Hank in the streets, Beast in the sheets,” he gasps out with a smirk, making Hank shake with laughter against his skin._ _

__“And you say I’m the one who needs to work on their jokes,” Hank teases and seals their lips back together in a tender kiss. Alex let’s out a soft moan when Hank moves to bite at his neck._ _

__“I think we should continue this inside,” Alex suggests and before he knows it, Hank is picking him up and carrying him inside._ _

__-  
Mornings are Alex’s favorite time to spend with Hank. He always seems to wake up before Hank, surprisingly, and he loves it. Hank always looks so peaceful when he sleeps and Alex loves resting on his fur since it’s so soft and warm and it’s Hank. _ _

__Alex _loves_ Hank. He loves how every morning he gets to wake up and see Hank, hang out with him during the day, fall asleep with him every night then wake up the next morning and do it all over again. He loves how sweet and caring and _confident_ Hank is. Alex isn’t a novelist, but he could write a whole series on why he loves Hank. The best part: Hank loves him the exact same way._ _

**Author's Note:**

> Thanks for reading!!! :)


End file.
